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Alpha Cat

by Robert Crayola

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1.
Apothecary 02:35
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In the universe There is no time For show and tell one day Michelle my belle brought in a man An apothecary He had a lisp He had a limp A pretty pointy hat oh Apothecary And he made George Thompson into a tree And he made Mindy Gunderson Disappear And he made Matul Patel into a beer And then he looked at me And said You too Will one day be An apothecary You too will one day be An apothecary
2.
It's Holding a Knife 01:14
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Look here she said with a beautiful sense of diction That lent itself to science fiction And arranged my mind in new ways That I'd recall for days and days And all because of the fact It's holding a knife It's holding a time bomb It smiled so sweetly A taco horizon It's holding a knife It's holding a landslide And I never would have met you Had I gone there Out there Alone
3.
Alpha Cat 06:31
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Sometimes on a day Lipping (living) in my car Clouds streaming in Dripping like tar And all that I can remember And all that I can forget And all that I can remember And all that I can forget Babies on the grass Babies on the grass Tar up in the sky Parking garage Parking garage Mirrors with skin and velcro Faded galleries Faded galleries And out of this one day Comes the alpha cat The alpha cat And out of this one day Comes the alpha cat And he Can't remember Can't remember a thing Why can't I remember Why can't I see The alpha cat The alpha cat Donny left His tube in my car Jenny left Her socks on my desk Bronson left His face on the chair Samson left A tab at the bar Haley left A quarter to nine Sangmin left A faulty address Risque risque Steven left His soul for a while You left Never came home
4.
How to Seduce Animals 01:47
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Animal taming at the beach She's such a cornball Clad in winterskin till hibernation hour Comes and controls darkness Skilled with arrows like a video game hooker That's something that's way too advanced For me Let me teach you how to seduce animals Remember those yellow rainbow days on the poppy farm Let me teach you how to seduce animals Upload your god and we'll compare Let me teach you how to seduce animals Glitch to the abuser Iced up Let me teach you how to seduce animals Let me teach you Animals
5.
Fly Like a Frog 04:55
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Down in the field Time of suppertime A football lone and lonesome To fly like a frog Across the snakes and grass That's all he asks It's all he asks Boy named Rico found it of a Sunday Or was it Monday A lay out in the sun day And took it home to show His family what he had found There on the ground Took the eyes off a Barbie doll So much expression From then on out On out Put it on his dresser Went to bed Called it a day Morning comes Rico looks to find His football can be found no more No more On the road it's bound And all over it went That football All through the town Everybody Everybody wants to kick me He says And they did Football went home that night Rico say where you been Where you been my friend They got in a fight them two Do i even need to say Rico tossed him out that window He flew like a frog Like a frog
6.
Pecadillo Park 00:47
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Gremlins in my pants Spending more time on boobs than face New dimensions in porn In space In here The 21st century He looked so puzzled Like a feminist sapien Amazon and Walmart 29 dollars Get it now Get it now now In pecadillo park I love that zipper across his face I forgot my homework Dog ate my laptop Great for him now get a life Take both pills fuck the matrix Applause to the guy Applesauce well played bro I clicked all yours fucking help me I get chills every time He don't look autistic He looked so puzzled, puzzled In my pants Bread on the bed My new fad This man's my hero Shake his hand That thing is creepy
7.
Pyramid Lane 03:39
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Don't hate me because I'm beautiful She said she said she said Some say chocolate is the opposite of vanilla This is a common delusion Down on pyramid lane Down on pyramid lane Sometimes people fall into the sewer And drown on their own liquid feces This is called irony Irony Not to be confused with ironing Which is what you do to bumpy clothes I'm gonna go and write in my journal Down on pyramid lane Down on pyramid lane A journal is a blog that you write on paper Some say that Jesus Christ was an African American I don't know I don't know Maybe Better to start small than never start at all Media synchronizes brains Chapstick is addictive Existence is addictive Water is addictive Carpet is addictive Faces are addictive Chopsticks are addictive Addictions are addictive Music is addictive Rhyming is addictive Sweat pants are addictive Time is so addictive Down on pyramid lane Down on pyramid lane Don't hate me because I'm beautiful Find better reasons
8.
Juggernaut 01:33
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A couple of shrimp Walk into the lounge Take a look around Sit down on the ground Fall into a huddle And whisper with glee Or so it would seem But not so Not for long anyway From the gambling den Covered with fur I see a juggernaut Whose feet when transposed Soften my lens Remind me of grandma Her Donald tattoo The green black sea A mustache I shaved The shrimp feel it too With each quaking step They edge to the door And leave for a home A pool by the sea
9.
Asymmetry 03:09
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Looking over into your yard As you pulled your wagon Your pigtails in a grin Your national lampoon bumper sticker And I was there eight years later The first time we smoked pot We did it together And then my family moved I didn't hear a thing For so long Email was barely invented And we weren't that close anyway But I still wanted to see you with your braces off And then one day When I was home from college Your dad was at our house Having lunch and I coyly asked him About you And I could tell that I'd said something Something wrong But he patted my shoulder Your dad and told me That you were gone
10.
Fiction Machine 02:16
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I talk to water Make love to plants Take my dog to the dance Fold it up Stick it in the fiction machine Fold it up Laugh out loud Or quietly Here comes that fiction machine In the mail Hidden between ads And grads and dads Sid the monkey let out the gas Sittin' cold That fiction machine
11.
Hot Years 01:06
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Sniffin Sniffin that air Makes my ears cry Too often say Sayin no To that vehicle The ugliest ones Will take you to the greatest places Get you there Come around sometime You be Sniffin that air
12.
Call Me Legal 02:06
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It's perfectly natural Perfectly clean A jealous sabbatical Up in a tree Flowy marshmellow Camel toe dream An axe in the face An axe in the face Emerson's at the liquor store Buying seeds and a cake Somebody's birthday Somebody's older Don't think that you will act Don't think Do not think Specimens on exhibit All night long All night You're my favorite citizen All night One of the puzzles Here comes morning On the other hand St. Paul power Recognize Recognize Call me legal When I'm round here Call me legal Not the Christians Call me legal Not the fire Call me legal Past the curfew Call me legal Garibaldi Call me legal Breathing Buddha Call me legal Just call me legal
13.
Birdseed 01:35
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Are your eyes blue or brown My tasty little clown Don't you mind The birdseed on my carpet I was hoping to find a gay roommate To help with the cleaning here And my dog does doggy yoga It keeps me happy That's a great bed there Doesn't smell like pee We don't pee in beds here Just ignore The birdseed in my carpet Are you a vegetarian I'm trying to be We have two fridges All the flavors you can want Even birdseed Did you ever notice all the things You can squeeze into a nutshell You'd probably make it in I'm not just saying that There's a sale on my favorite vegetable So I'll buy them When nobody's looking Get what you want No obstacles or panic Never be defeated Be too large Preventing weakness Consecration
14.
No, It's Not Japanese 05:01
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No, it's not Japanese At all And I come from a faraway place Little thoughts Little tears on my face And I cry Like a milky bar And I say To myself No, it's not Japanese At all It was pedophile night at the oracazoo And I couldn't get out for a swim Your headlights blinded oppressively And I thought a her was a him No, it's not Japanese At all What are you doin', Lisa You're lookin' kinda tasty I haven't been here lately Let's do shrooms on the mesa
15.
Arrivederci 01:36
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Arrivederci amigos Comme si comme ca Ja mata Cho san In my Lamborghini Or is it Delorean These hi-end endings End speakers and loop Around formally begin again Some other plane of audio concrescence Alone a ham A turkey A stick of bacon Avocado The day goes on On and on Telemetry gives way To psychokinesis Mutations Bridge under traveled waters Mold growing in the cup Candles sitting uselessly I loved them all All of them
16.
Alpha Cat Redux 00:53
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Why can't I remember Why can't I see

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released July 30, 2011

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Robert Crayola California

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